Gerda Biskup
remembers John's strength when they were confronted with two
emotional trials: first when their daughter, Heide, ran away
at age 15 for six weeks, and when she died in 1980 at age 20
from anorexia and asthma complications. "John was like
steel; I could cling to him and holding his hands would give
me strength like no one could believe. I miss this most of
all when I don't feel good to go sit by his bed and hold his
hand to give me strength to go on. Where do I get it
now?"
Yet, John had
a softer, more whimsical side to him too. Gerda remembers
that John was overjoyed when John, Jr., a son finally came
along. "John loved all his children dearly, though
there was a special bond between his son and himself. John
would always tell me it was because he needed help with all
the women around the house!"
Like most of
us, John's life was not without crises and struggles. Luise
Biskup remembers how in 1974, he suffered a massive heart
attack damaging 3/4ths of his heart, a condition deemed
inoperable. He was in and out of a coma for the first 11
days, a touch and go situation. John bounced back, though,
going on to live and bless his family with his presence for
another 24 years. The heart attack jolted him into stopping
smoking, up to a two-packs a day habit. In the ensuing 24
years, he would suffer and struggle through 4 or 5 strokes,
shingles, and twice broken ribs. He had to re-learn to
swallow and walk, and to speak again after his stroke in
January 1997.
Traveling
abroad, he was to enjoy trips to Germany, Austria and
Croatia. He would travel to see John Jr., play football as a
kicker for Syracuse from 1989-1992. John traveled to such
places as Hawaii, Tampa Bay, New Orleans, Phoenix, Tempe,
Syracuse, Philadelphia, and many other cities. In September
1993, he was to enjoy traveling to Croatia with Luise to
celebrate his 70th birthday.
Luise
remembers, as all family members do, the struggles faced by
the family due to ARDS as a painful ordeal for the family.
The most frustrating thing to Luise was her father's
inability to speak because of the ventilator tube. His
fluctuating fever was difficult. John's in and out of
coherency created stress and strain. The horrible black
substance that came up out of his lungs from years of
smoking. How Gerda, their mom, had to be admitted to the
same hospital in which John was a patient, because of
stress. How she had to be kept for a few days to make sure
everything was ok because she had a heart condition. How
John, Pam, and Luise were unable to visit regularly because
they lived in Georgia; while Barbara and Joanne switched
from day to day. How Chelsi was able to visit her "Opa"
on occasions. How friends and family members rallied to
visit John in the hospital. Luisa says with a simple
eloquence: "We all miss him and loved him dearly, Words
can't express how we all feel. We go on but want to know
why? Why when he is such a great and giving mand to his
family, friends, strangers and the community in Islip
Terrace and the school district in of East Islip, both in
New York? My doctor has recommended reading: "When Bad
Things Happen to Good People", by Harold S. Kushner. I
am working and getting help to get me through this time.
Everyone grieves in their own ways."
Joanne Biskup
says that "Some of my greatest memories of my father
are when we worked together at the family owned deli. He was
a unique person, well liked and respected by his customers,
neighbors and friends."
Joanne goes
on to recall the "time when I was working in the deli
there was a baby mouse running back and forth behind the
counter. When I told my dad about the mouse he came out with
a broom. Tears quickly came to my eyes because I knew what
he was about to do. The mouse was now traveling back and
forth under the floor between two holes. I grabbed some
cheese and quickly made a trail from the hole outside the
store onto the sidewalk--hoping the little mouse would
understand my intentions. My father was so amused at this he
let our little visitor stay...I think."
Joanne
followed in her father's footsteps in his love for
gardening. She is happy that her daughter, Chelsi, got to
become close with him. She is now pregant with her second
child and knows that Chelsi will have wonderful stories to
tell her little brother or sister about their Opa. "I
miss him very much and that will never go away, I am
thankful to have known such an incredible person."
Barbara
Biskup says, "it is three and a half months since my
dad passed way. My father was the best father anyone could
ever have. Yea, he was definitely a workaholic, but we had a
"family" business and it was truly a
"family" business in every sense. I am grateful
for the values my father has instilled in us. He always
wanted us to work hard and be the best we could be. I have
many memories of working with him in our deli and I think
that I was truly fortunate to have spent that time with him.
Some people only got to see their father's after work or on
the weekends, but I actually worked with him and got to
spend more time with him than most people did with their own
fathers.
The deli was
truly a special place in my father's heart. One of my
favorite memories is of a story a friend of mine told me.
When we were younger there was always a crowd of people
hanging around outside the deli, probably anywhere from
10-20 people on a Friday night. My father's "cure"
for getting the kids to "move'em out" was to get a
bottle of ammonia and pour it outside the deli on the
sidewalk. My friend said that the first time she saw him do
this she thought to herself, "Wow, this guy really
loves his business, he's cleaning the sidewalk!", not
realizing it was his way of making them leave.
Another
favorite of mine was when I would be working in the
afternoon (at that time my father would have his lunch and
"take a rest") and my friends would come to visit,
(he ALWAYS knew when you were goofing off and not working)
he would come out from the back and he would always tell
them "Go to movie!" (my friend, Vikki, thought he
was a real movie buff!) I could go on and on about my father
but that would fill a huge book! My father was good to ALL
the kids and adults in this neighborhood. Everyone loved him
and will miss him!
I'm sure my
father knew I loved him, but I wish I told my father more
often how much I loved him. We all take for granted that the
people we love know that we love them, but, it's always nice
to hear it!!!"
John Jr.
notes that "A good friend of mine told me that there
would not be a day that you won't think about your Dad. For
some strange reason I found this hard to believe. Here I sit
1/14/99, 113 days after his death, and every single morning
when I drive to work I think of him.
"The
things that I miss most about him:
The most
obvious one, being able to hug him and tell him that I love
him;
Listening to him tell his stories of his experiences in
Europe (pre & post WWII);
Sitting at the table and drinking "antifreeze"
(his wine) with him; Calling him "Chief"; Telling
jokes that he heard in the deli and he'd either forget the
punch line or would say it too early; Using anything that he
could find to scratch his back; Working with him in the deli
or at home; Watching him walk around our backyard with an
old pair of my sneakers on, never tied of course (I am a
size 10 he was a size 8); Sitting on the deck drinking
"antifreeze" and him telling stories; Hearing him
say: "Clean em up and hit the road, Jack",
"It's nice to be nice", "Scratching the lawn
(raking the lawn)", "I don't know", "Oh
boy".
Dad was a
workaholic. His life revolved around working in the deli,
usually from 6AM – 10 or 11PM. He always said to me
"I work this hard because I want my kids to have a
better life than me." Seven days a week and 52 weeks a
year he was working behind that deli counter. Holidays were
only half days for him (6AM – 3PM). John's Deli was never
closed! He said that there was always someone that needed
something on those holidays and everyone knew that they
could count on John being open. He was the unofficial
"Mayor" of Islip Terrace, where everyone who knew
him only had nice comments. He was an extremely savvy
businessman when it came to reading people and getting the
most out of them.
When I was
younger I would always tell myself that "I don't ever
want to be like my Dad" when referencing his hours
worked and not involving himself in any hobbies. As I sit
here today typing, I am truly blessed to have acquired many
of my Dads assets. Commitment, dedication, discipline and
just being nice to others are a few things that he passed
along to me. I truly can't wait until the day that someone
tells me "you're just like you Dad". I will thank
them for making my day.
As I look
back and think about different conversations with him, the
one thing that I never told him was how proud I was of him.
My parents were always complimenting me and telling me how
proud they were of me. If I had the chance to tell him one
last thing it would be to do just that… tell him how proud
I was of him, to know him and to be his son. It is my job to
carry on his name and with my wife, Pamela, have a son. I
know that my Dad is very proud of all of us and nothing
would please him more than to see his name passed on one
more generation."
Daughter-in-law,
Pam (Radgowski) Biskup, says "I knew "Mr. B"
for almost half of my life and although I did not officially
become part of the family until this past summer - I always
felt like I was.
When you meet
a family like the Biskups you find yourself with a strange
desire to be part of them. I suppose "strange" is
may sound like odd choice of a word, but I know that
everyone knows what I mean!
It's funny
because I actually met "Mr. & Mrs. B" before I
even knew that they had a son. They owned and operated the
hottest breakfast and lunch spot in town - "John's
Deli". I remember going there after school before a
softball game and getting a snack. Mr. B was just the cutest
little man you've ever met. He had this thick accent and
quite honestly I struggled for years to understand him! I
would always just smile at him and shake my head one way or
the other. I'm sure he knew that I didn't have the faintest
idea what he had said, but he would always just smile back
at me.
Once I
started dating his son, John Jr., I obviously began to spend
a lot of time with the family and at the deli. I even spent
a summer making breakfast specials in the back of the deli
every morning. "Mr. B" was a hard worker and
determined to teach his children his way. Believe me, there
were many a day when he chased me out of the deli so I
wouldn't disturb John Jr. when he was working. You can not
feel anything but admiration for such a hard working family
man. Everything he did and worked for was for his family.
Barbara is
right on the money when she says that we have a tendency to
take for granted that people know how we feel. I have to
believe in my heart that "Mr. B" knows that I love
him. I just wish I had an opportunity to call him
"Dad" while he was still able to hear me. The
things I will miss and remember most:
Walking in on
him in his "tighty whities" and watching his face
turn red;
Listening to his stories about a life he lived that's worlds
away from anything a textbook could ever express; Not
having the opportunity to give him a grandson to carry on
his name while he was still here to hold him
My
relationship with him was one that did not require a lot of
words. My respect and love for him has only grown over the
years and I am honored to wear the Biskup name and thank him
for being a part of my life and even more for allowing me to
be a part of his!"
John's
granddaughter, Chelsi Heide Biskup, in the way only a child
can express, recalls:
"I
remember when Opa and I used to play my favorite game, Lucky
Ducks, together. We would play a long time. Opa always liked
to play games with me. I used to make pictures for him. He
used to be sad when I went to school, when I came home he
was happy to see me. I take care of Opa's best friend, our
dog, Jessie. Sometimes I miss my Opa a lot. When I think of
him and how much he loved me it make me happy. I'm glad I
got to spend some time with my Opa."
A precise
condensation of a simple, good-hearted man.
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